“You can make more friends in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie
How would you rate yourself at listening to others?
If you’re like most people, you find it much easier to talk than to listen. Listening requires a lot of energy and self-control. It requires us to put other people first. It demands that we engage with people on a level that doesn’t feel natural. It’s work!
The great thing about listening, though, is that it gives you greater influence in their lives. People are not used to being deeply listened to. Even when we’re not talking, we’re often thinking about what to say next rather than listening to what is being said.
In Becoming a Person of Influence, John Maxwell and Jim Dornan suggest the following nine things to become a better listener. Evaluate yourself on each one and choose two or three to intentionally work on.
- Look at the speaker.
- Don’t interrupt.
- Focus on understanding.
- Determine the need at the moment.
- Check your emotions.
- Suspend your judgment.
- Sum up at major intervals.
- Ask questions to clarify.
- Always make listening your priority.
While listening isn’t natural to many of us, it is a learnable skill. Being a better listener will gain you greater influence with people. I encourage you to make the effort to listen to understand, not just to hear. You might be amazed at how you can help people when you hear their deepest needs. Listen for what is not being said, as well as, what is.
You can do this! You can become a better listener, but you must be intentional about it.
Be intentionally Great today!
If you want to become a better leader, I would love to serve as your coach or train your team. If you would like to discuss how this would work, please contact me at [email protected] or 770-715-8280.
