If you’re like most people, you find that the holidays can go too fast and can be extremely stressful. The average person is working hard to finish the year strong at work while simultaneously trying to squeeze in shopping and holiday gatherings with friends and family.
Too many people allow life to happen to them. I believe that you should happen to life. You can do that by being intentional. It’s easy to drift in life and drifting often takes us places we don’t want to go. If you want to get to a desired destination, you need to know your starting and ending points.
The famous quote from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland when Alice is talking to the Cheshire Cat is:
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”
As you navigate the holiday season (and any season of life for that matter), it’s imperative that you know where you want to go. In order to combat the typical holiday madness in a productive and healthy way, here are four tips that will help you navigate this time of year with intentionality.
The word “rest” is not something that many people consider or feel is possible during the holidays. However, if we are to become the best versions of ourselves, rest is vital to our health and well-being. Rest will impact how we end this year and how we begin the new year.
As we walk through these four steps think about some clear actions that you can implement in your life. Knowledge is only helpful if it is applied.
R—Reflect on the past year (evaluate)
Although experts regularly teach that end-of-year evaluation is a key component to future success, it’s something that you have to fight for. We live in a world of distractions and as leaders, we seem to either be lighting fires under people or putting out fires that have become crises in our organizations. Leadership takes its toll on us and we have to be extremely intentional to schedule personal reflection time.
Ideally, we should be planning ahead at the beginning of each week and reflecting at the end of each week. If you’re evaluating regularly, nothing should be a surprise when your year-end review comes along. However, too many of us are not consistent in regular reviews and often overlook year-end reviews altogether. This impedes our ability to grow and become better leaders. We can gain years of experience, but not be any better for it. A solution to this problem is to schedule time now for when you will block out a few hours up to a few days to reflect through the holidays.
As you reflect on the year coming to an end, evaluate using the following questions:
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- What went well?
- What went poorly?
- What was an investment of time?
- What was a waste of time?
- What should you do again?
- What should you avoid in the future?
- Who added value to your life and work?
- Who subtracted value?
- What key actions led to the greatest results?
- How can you repeat them in the future?
Journaling the answers to questions like these can be very powerful. It doesn’t have to take long to do this exercise. Even 15 minutes of thinking time can be powerful. The key is to slow down long enough to proactively think instead of reacting to whatever comes your way.
E—Exhale (take time to breathe from the busyness of life)
My wife is a very driven woman. She is a passionate, energetic, successful middle school teacher. She runs hard all week long and then she crashes hard on the weekends. I regularly have to remind her to breathe. Even when she’s watching TV and enjoying downtime, she can become so focused that she forgets to breathe. Anyone here like this?
A friend of mine shared with me that he developed the discipline to sit still for five minutes and focus on breathing each day. He told me it was transformational for him.
As I’ve observed the impact of my own breathing habits, I’ve realized that when I focus intently or am stressed I begin to hold my breath or take shallow breaths. Occasionally I will catch myself and take a few deep breaths. This helps my mind clear, diminishes stress, and enables me to relax.
As you navigate this busy holiday season, pay attention to your breathing. Remind yourself to breathe if necessary. Place sticky notes on your computer screen, dashboard, or bathroom mirror. Place reminders wherever it will trigger you to pause and take some deep breaths.
Life is too busy and challenging to not find ways to reduce stress. There’s much wisdom in the people who set aside time to breathe and meditate. It’s a time to recharge and refocus so you can be about the things that matter most.
If you’re a person of faith, block out time to pray and breathe deeply. Many people also find yoga and other breathing exercises beneficial as well. Customize whatever works for you, but be intentional about it.
I am a person of faith and I’ve developed a daily habit that has revolutionized my life this year. I get up at 5 am (most days), get ready for the day, then spend an hour reading, praying, and journaling before I wake my kids up for school and get them out the door for the bus. This daily routine has become something I crave. I used to be a “night owl” and hated getting up early, but now I crave the quiet calm of the morning before I begin my days. In order to experience this, I had to shift my schedule significantly. Now, I make sure I go to sleep before 10 pm so I can wake up fresh in the early morning hours.
While this may not be the specific step you need to take, figure out what works best for you and do it. Give yourself margin in your schedule to breathe.
S—Schedule intentional time with those you value most (quantity and quality)
Time is our most valuable asset. We work so hard in our lives to earn money and all the while we burn precious time that can never be renewed. The truth is that we can always find ways to earn more money. But once time passes, it’s gone forever.
Much has been said and written about the differences between quantity and quality time. We often deceive ourselves into believing that “quality time” makes up for the loss of quantity time. As a father of three young kids, I know for a fact that quantity and quality are not synonymous. My kids want both. When I’m in a busy season, I hear grumbling about not spending enough time with them. No amount of quality time will fill the gap.
Regardless of the type of relationships we’re discussing, people can tell how much we value them by how much time we give them. It’s been said that you can see your priorities by looking at your checkbook and your calendar. The difference is that no matter how much money you spend on someone, time will always be more valuable. My kids are less interested in money and things than they are in time spent with me. Those you love and value the most feel the same way even if it’s deep inside and not spoken.
During the holidays, block out time to invest in your relationships. Time spent together protects relationships and communicates value to people. We all put important things on our calendars, but how often do you schedule relational time? Many people fear this makes it feel artificial. But think about it—if your spouse, child, or friend saw that you value them enough to block out time on your full calendar for them, don’t you think that it would speak volumes? You block time for projects—blocking time for relationships is even more important!
Ask yourself a few questions:
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- Who do I value most?
- Am I giving them the time they deserve?
- Who am I giving too much time to that isn’t mutually beneficial?
- What adjustments do I need to make in my calendar in order to invest in my valued people?
- At the end of my life, who will I regret not spending more time with?
- What can I do now to minimize regrets?
Time is fleeting. It goes by too quickly. Just the other day I saw a picture pop up as a memory on Facebook of my wife and two sons who were 3 and 1 at the time. Our little girl wasn’t born yet. Now, our kids are 12, 10, and 8. I treasure every day I have with them. But I have to fight to protect the time I invest in them. I encourage you to fight for time to invest in your valued people as well. Doing so will be one of life’s greatest blessings and will prevent regret at the end of your life.
T—Think ahead (plan for next year)
This is the step that often comes naturally to us this time of year. When the end of one year comes, we get excited about a fresh start and we begin to dream and cast a vision for the next year. Because we gain energy from this, we should also block time to give adequate attention to it.
Here are a few questions to guide you to strategically think ahead:
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- At the end of next year, what would I like to have achieved?
- What action steps are required to achieve these goals?
- What is required of me in the new year?
- What would give me the most satisfaction in the new year ahead?
- What are my personal goals for the new year?
- What are my organizational goals?
- What actions do I need to take in order to grow in the new year to become the person and leader I desire to be?
With each new year comes a new opportunity to grow and become better. Instead of dealing with regrets of the past, the new year brings hope for a brighter future. As you think ahead, envision what your ideal life and business will look like five years from now, then determine the steps it took to achieve that vision. This is an activity called “remembering your future.”
Everything is created twice—once in the mind of the creator and then once physically. When you envision your ideal future, you have the opportunity to then create it physically. Too many people are daydreamers—they envision a better future, but they leave it at that. They hope that it will magically come to pass. However, those who achieve the vision are those who identify the necessary steps to take and then get to work.
Whether it’s for your personal life or your organization, think ahead and dream about what you want to see happen. Then determine that in the new year you will get to work on making it happen. Thinking ahead turns busyness into productivity. John Maxwell states in his “Law of Priorities” that “Leaders understand that activity is not necessarily accomplishment.” If you desire to have a year of accomplishment in the year ahead, it begins with thinking now.
As this year comes to a close and you navigate the next few weeks of the holiday season, may you intentionally R.E.S.T.
Let’s do a quick review:
R—Reflect on the past year
E—Exhale to destress and refocus
S—Schedule intentional time with family and friends
T—Think ahead to the New Year
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